


The Kiss that Changed the World

by EddieFook



Series: Kiss!verse [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Future, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Healing, Kissing, M/M, Time Travel, destiel smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2015-08-22
Packaged: 2018-04-16 15:35:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4630629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EddieFook/pseuds/EddieFook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas has loved Dean for...well for forever. And now, looking at the Mark on Dean's hand Cas wonders, could it all have been different? If he had changed one tiny thing, broken the one promise he made to himself, could they be different? Would Dean accept him? More importantly could he save Dean Winchester?</p><p>AU Before the end of S10</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Kiss that Changed the World

“I have an idea of how to get rid of the mark.” Cas looked at the table and refused to look at the two men across from him. He didn’t have to look to know exactly the face Sam and Dean would each carry. Sam would look eager, he was willing to try anything. Dean would just look tired. He was done with it all, done trying, done failing, done.

“What is it Cas?” Sam sounded willing.

“Yeah, lay it on us Cas.” Dean sounded weary.

“I can’t…I have to try, I will explain it when I return.” With that he flew away to Illinois and stood looking at a graveyard.

He couldn’t deny this was something he’d wanted for a long time. For five years? No for thirty seven years. Thirty seven years, fifty eight days, seventeen hours, and nineteen seconds.

That was how long Dean Winchester had been alive.

He had been wanting this the moment Dean Winchester took his first breath. He saw a soul made of pure light and he wanted, no _needed_ , that light in his existence.

So he stood at the grave he’d returned to over the years and looked and wished. He had made a promise to himself he’d never go back and change things, he’d try and tell Dean how he felt, he’d push Dean and kiss every freckle covering the man’s skin, he’d try and get Dean to understand just how much Castiel, the being who had existed for millennia, loved him. And Castiel had never loved anything before. It was a new concept, and it felt so good and so painful at the same time.

He promised himself he’d try.

But every time he came near the man he’d lose his nerve. He’d swallow those words that were clawing like the Leviathan to come out. He would squint his eyes, tilt his head and continue with whatever apocalypse was happening.

He promised he’d never do this unless there was a _very_ good reason.

And it seemed the Mark of Cain had given Cas an incredibly good reason. He closed his eyes hard and instantly he was standing in the exact same place six years ago.

“What are you?” Cas stood in front of himself, but it was a himself that was so much different. The angel before him was so different they could have been strangers.

“I am us,” Cas took out his angel blade and threw it on the ground. “I am us from the future.”

“Why are you here?” Castiel looked at him curiously. His shoulders were strong and his back straight, the perfect warrior. Cas wondered was he ever like that? It had been so long ago Cas had forgotten.

“I am here for Dean Winchester.” Castiel’s shoulders straightened. He glared and Cas remembered how he felt all those years ago standing over the exact spot where Dean was buried under so many levels, deep in hell. He had looked at that spot with eagerness, there was no chance he was going to fail, he was going to bring Dean Winchester back to life. There was no room, or even idea of fear because he knew as soon as he took hold of the righteous man’s shoulder he would succeed.

“I am here to save Dean, in the years to come Dean will be in danger and this is the only way to stop him.”

“Dean Winchester must be raised from hell.”

“And he will be, but you don’t know what is coming, I do.” Cas looked at his hands, “I love him. We love him. Please trust this is what needs to be done.” he looked and Castiel had his shoulders squared and he was nodding.

“What can I do?”

“I, I need our grace, your grace. Mine was taken and I’ve been running on stolen grace for a while now.” Castiel nodded, a little less sure now.

“And after you take my grace? Am I expected to live as a human?” Cas didn’t look up. “Or am I not to exist at all?” When Cas refused to meet his eyes he heard a sigh. “I am not to exist at all, you are going to take my place.”

Before Cas could do or say anything Castiel held him tight by the shoulders.

“You will protect him, whatever happens in the future to him will _not_ happen. Do you understand?” Cas nodded, Castiel took out his angel blade and cut his neck. White, glowing grace flowed from the cut into Cas’s mouth and for the first time in a very _long_ time Cas felt his power rushing through him. His power, not borrowed, or stolen, but _his_. It surged through him and he felt alive and powerful and completely himself.

He didn’t look back at Castiel to see what the angel was going to do. He dove down and down and down and deep and dark and he started to feel the tingling souls gripping at him and clawing at the unfamiliar power rushing past them. Cas remembered this, he remembered wanting to stop and wishing he could help more, but now he continued to surge forward toward the only thing he wanted in the universe.

Dean was in a dark pit. The chains in his shoulder and side were large and Cas’s heart broke hearing the screams coming from the throat he’d wished with all his being would just whisper “I love you.”

“Who the hell are you?!” Dean screamed and he flinched away as Cas gently broke the chains. He gripped Dean’s shoulder tightly and started to fly up. The weight was almost more than he could bear and he could feel the borrowed grace ripping his insides to shreds. His own grace lent it’s power and he _knew_ he could do this.

At the entrance of hell Cas lay the body broken into a million pieces down. They were on the banks of the river Styx and Cas started stitching bones, skin, muscles, soul, and freckles together. He blushed when he came to the more intimate parts of Dean, but he continued on. He worked for months, the time not meaning anything, he wanted Dean to be as perfect as he was before.

When Cas’s work passed his standard he pulled himself wearily up and stood looking at the sleeping man at his feet.

He held Dean, a lot more gently and carried him up the tunnel of light away from the Styx. He lay the man down just below the surface and then flew off. It broke his heart that he had to leave, but he knew the moment, _that_ moment, where he could change the future was in the barn.

So he followed exactly what he did years ago. He tried to speak to Dean using his true voice, he was sorry he had to burn the psychic’s eyes out but she had forced his form to show itself.  

He was slightly terrified when he stood in front of the barn doors. He knew this was either going to work or it was going to be the worst thing in the world. But he was damned if he wasn’t going to at least try.

“Who the hell are you?!” Dean had no idea he was repeating his question from earlier. He had rushed up and stabbed Cas in the chest and they both looked down at the blade sticking between out of his ribs.

“I am Castiel, I am an angel.” He tried to be gentler than before, before he was of one mission and in awe that he was finally able to speak with the being he’d so long admired. Now Cas knew Dean, had seen the man in his green robe and fuzzy slippers, had shared meals with him, had held him for the briefest of moments, had spoken, had loved. “I was the one who pulled you from hell,” he said softer.

“You,” Dean licked his lips slightly and looked down at Cas’s mouth.

“What the hell?” Bobby came up and Cas pressed his fingertips gently to the older man’s forehead.

“I am sorry I had to do that,” he looked at Dean earnestly. “I need to talk to you without Bobby.”

“How do you know his name?”

“Because I have been watching you for a long time Dean,” Cas looked at his hands, “I saw when your soul was created and I wanted…”

“You wanted…” Dean looked at this strange man’s lips again.

“To know you,” Cas whispered as he walked back to Dean. “I wanted to be by your side and when I saw you fall to hell I knew I had to save you,” a little less than the truth but who here would know?

“But I’m no one…” Dean swallowed, why the hell could he not stop looking at the man’s lips? This being seemed so _familiar_ and Dean could feel a want of his own building inside him.

“There is a plan in Heaven, I am to be a part of it but I have seen the future and I want nothing to do with it. I will fight at your side for as long as you will have me.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you,” Cas whispered, he didn’t realize just how hard it was to say those words. He had existed for longer than humanity and when it came to those eight letters he was terrified. But once he said it…it was good. Right.

“You love me?” Dean looked wide eyed, at least he was staring at endless blue eyes and not lips. Damn he looked at the lips again. “You don’t know me.”

“I do.” Cas nodded hard, more than this Dean would ever know. “I love you and I have watched over you your whole life.”

“Well that’s not at all creepy,” Dean huffed a laugh trying to break the tension forming in his gut. He had no idea who this being was but hearing that he loved him…well it felt strangely satisfying to hear that.

“Don’t be an ass.” Cas narrowed his eyes and Dean giggled.

“Cas,” the angel beamed at the automatic shortened version of his name. “Can I… I mean can I try…” Dean leaned down and Cas met him halfway and their lips touched with electricity and fire. It was like the shocks Dean gave Sam every time they scored a motel room with thick carpet. Rub, rub, rub of the socks and _zap_ Sam was awake.

But this was different, and _good_ at the same time. It was like they were each filled with flames and as the thin skin on their lips melted together the world and storm and unconscious Bobby beside them faded to nothing.

They didn’t hold one another, as much as Cas’s body screamed for him to just take Dean in his arms. Rather Dean tangled his fingers together with Cas’s by their sides and they just kissed.

“Well, um…wow.” Dean leaned back and tilted his head too. “It has been a long time since I kissed a dude but I gotta say…that was good.”

“I’m glad I could provide such a service,” Cas said dryly and Dean giggled again. “I can become your regular service provider,” Cas looked shyly up at Dean who full on laughed. Cas bathed in the sound and the fact that Dean still had his hand slotted in Cas’s. If this had been him six years ago he would never had made such a joke. Jokes were for other angels, Cas was always the awkward virgin knowing nothing.

“Um, well, I guess I’d be up for more kisses like that. I don’t know about love and shit or sex but kissing,” Dean rubbed his jaw with his free hand, there was no way in hell he was going to let go of the warmth starting in his hand and running up his arm causing his stomach to do seventeen somersaults. “Yeah, kissing would be great.” Cas smiled and leaned in kissing a bit harder.

“Good,” he pulled away after Dean pecked him again and went to kneel over Bobby, “We should go and sort out the angel’s plan and then we can…”

“We can…?”

“Hunt, retire, whatever you want.”

“And you’re gonna be there.”

“If you’ll have me, yes.” And Dean felt oddly happy about that.

                                                                                                    ***  
“I'm sorry you're an angel? Like Michael and Lucifer? What do you sit naked on a puffy pink cloud?” They had just finished going over the angel’s plan for holy war on earth but Bobby was still having trouble cottoning on to the idea that a member of the heavenly host was in his house.

“No,” Cas shook his head and Dean _really_ tried not to think of anyone (especially squinty accountant looking anyones) sitting naked on clouds. He was fine with being bi, but he just met this dude and after that kiss....Dean wanted to wait and not turn this into a random fuck. And that was new enough territory to make him shy away. For now. “I do not sit naked on clouds, those are cherubs and they're little dicks.” He smiled at the memory of Dean's first encounter and the automatic nickname the hunter had given the naked cupid.

Dean started giggling again and Cas's grace swelled in his chest.

“I like him,” Dean smiled like a dork and Cas matched the grin. “Come on Bobby we can trust him.” He clapped the older man on the shoulder. “I'm going up to get my four hours, might even splurge and take six, you wake me when Sam gets here?” Bobby nodded. Dean tilted his head ever so slightly at Cas and the angel followed. “C’mon Cas I'll show you the digs.”

Cas followed behind looking at the familiar house he hadn't been in since the old hunter died.

“So, uh, where d'you sleep? I mean Bobby doesn't have any more bedrooms, so I guess you could take mine and I'll take the couch...”

“Dean,” Cas stopped the rambling man, “It's fine I don't sleep. I will be ok on the couch, I can read or watch television.” Dean looked a mixture of confused and apprehensive.

“So, um, if you don't sleep then are you going to...?” Cas tilted his head and Dean didn't say more until they were safely behind his locked door upstairs. “When I'm sleeping will you leave?” He said in a rush. Dean refused to look up and Cas finally realized it. It wasn't the kiss, it wasn't telling Dean he loved him, those were empty for Dean until Cas proved it.

“I will never leave,” he said softly looking at Dean in earnest. “I will stay as long as you ask me to.”

“Ok,” Dean smiled timidly and Cas was sure he'd never seen that look on the hunter's face in all his life. “Will you stay?” Cas nodded, “But, um, don't like watch me sleep, man that'd be creepy,” Dean huffed a laugh and then squeezed his eyes shut. _Do you have to be such an ass? The guy said he loved you?! And while we're at it don't you dare deny that you wouldn't mind him in here with you._ But before Dean could open his mouth to reveal just how much more of an idiot he could be Cas bowed slightly.

“Of course. Whatever makes you comfortable.” Dean stopped Cas with a hand on his arm.

“You know a kiss would make me comfortable...” He raised his eyebrows and Cas smiled.

He moved back and kissed Dean softly. They twined their fingers together again and Dean surprised himself when he wrapped an arm around Cas's lower back. The angel shifted a bit closer and pressed his chest into Dean's. Their kiss didn't get hotter but they weren't going to break any time soon. An infinity lasted between this lips and the room was only filled with soft sighs as the kiss lasted into a wonderful eternity.

“Dean," Cas had to break away or they would stand in that dark room and kiss forever, “You need rest.”

“No, just one more,” Dean whined and they were back at it.

“Dean,” Cas laughed into the man's lips. “Come on, you need sleep, I will be here tomorrow and I will kiss you then.” Dean looked a bit uncertain. “Dean,” Cas rested his forehead against the other man’s, “I _will_ be here tomorrow, and you can kiss me wherever you wish.”

“And are you gonna be ok with this not being....public?”

Cas tilted his head, “I don't want to make you uncomfortable and I will go at your pace but there will come a time when I will not be able to help myself. I will just need to kiss you.” Dean huffed but a shy, pink smile spread across his face.

“I guess that's fair,” Dean didn't break their foreheads, “I um, don't know if I'm ready for that... No one knows I'm bi and you're so new and I want to figure out how to tell Sammy...”

“That's fair Dean,” Cas nodded, “I will let you sleep.”

“Ok, um, see you tomorrow,” there was a lilt in Dean's voice that Cas knew would only take time to cure.

“Yes. Yes Dean I will see you tomorrow.” He closed the door softly and went downstairs.

Bobby was behind a large desk with his arms crossed and half a bottle of jack.

“Hot wings, come have a drink.” Cas came in and sat in the chair across from Dean and Sam's adopted father. "So you're an angel, you the one who raised our boy? You also the one who scorched Pam’s eyes clean out?"

“That was regrettable, I didn't mean to, but she forced me to show my true form. Some humans, they can see me but most will have their eyes burned out. But that's not what's important.”

“Really,” Bobby said sarcastically as he took another swig and grimaced, “So lay it on me hot wings, what's more important than you?”

“Dean.” Cas said simply, “And Sam and I am going to tell you something and until I know how to tell them you cannot say a word.” Bobby nodded guardedly. He wasn't going to promise to anything. “I am...from the future. Dean, the Dean in my future is in serious trouble. Trouble that has no cure. I had to travel back to stop it and this is the catalyst.”

“The catalyst?”

 Cas nodded, “This point. This moment in our history is the point where everything can change. It's all stacked up and once one thing falls then the next, the next, and the next.” Bobby could tell the man was no longer speaking to him. “So I had to go back, here, here is where I can save Dean.”

“Well ok,” bobby sighed, “Let me know what I can do.”

“Sam is in trouble,” Cas looked up and bobby looked ready to do whatever. “There is a demon, Ruby, she is filling his head with lies and addicting him to her blood,” Bobby looked sick. “We can save him, if we save him then everything will be saved. They won't be hurt more.” Cas said the last part softly so that only Bobby heard.

Dean moved quietly away from the landing and lay back on his bed. He started working through the words he heard and what exactly he made of Castiel.

There was no way that kiss was fake. He knew that. Just like he knew he was bi and pecan pie was the greatest thing in the world. There was no way Cas had faked that, or that his tiny growing feelings toward the angel weren't real. And Cas hadn't exactly lied to him, and it was clear he was there to help. So as much as Dean wanted to storm down and scream and yell he didn't. His logical brain was kicking in and saying he needed time. Time with Cas. Time to see if Cas was really there to help. Time to save Sam.

That part was the scariest. Sam was in trouble and Dean blamed himself. He went to hell and Sam got in deep. So he flipped his cell open and dialed his brother's number.

Straight to voicemail.

So Dean slept and tried to block out the world for just a few hours.

***

Dean kicked the wall in frustration and groaned loudly.

“Did that help?” Cas didn't look up from his book. His long legs were stretched in the couch and Dean knocked them aside so he could slump petulantly down.

“No.” Cas's mouth quirked at Dean's perfect imitation of a pouting five year old.

“Should I kiss it and make it better?” Dean reddened but his shy grin won out.

They had been searching for Sam for two months now. The next day after Dean met Cas, the angel (with a plan made with Bobby) told a half truth to the hunter about Sam’s trouble and Dean nodded. Neither Cas nor Bobby had any idea Dean knew the whole story. It had been hard for both of them to swallow, the Angels plan to let Lucifer out and start a holy war in earth.

“And I broke the first seal?” Dean looked confused. “How?”

Cas refused to meet his eye, “Dean please don't ask me that,” he looked up and Dean was shocked at the incredibly vulnerability in his eyes and he nodded dumbly.

“Ok,” he whispered. Another thing to add to the waiting list.

So they had called Sam brought him to Bobby's and confronted the young hunter. The man yelled, denied, punched Cas across the jaw for telling lies, and then stormed out. Dean had tried every trick in the book looking for Sam and he found his brother after two days. Cas stayed in the car but he heard the yelling. Dean came out fuming and Sam slammed the door so hard the handle broke.

So now here they were. Dean was always a few steps behind his brother but them Sam got smart and disappeared. Nothing Dean could think of worked so all that was left was kicking walls. Then Bobby would yell at Dean and Dean would run to his room or out to the car.

“Dean go hunt,” Bobby growled as he walked in the room, “You're driving me bat shit, I have a case for you. A nice ruguaru a few states over.” Dean nodded and looked at Cas.

“You want to...” Cas nodded.

“I will warn you I'm not a very good hunter...”

“Can you fight?” Cas nodded, “Works for me.” Dean smiled and let his hand linger on Cas's shoulder.

“Do me a favor?” Bobby cut in to their soft eyes. “When you get a room, _use_ it. I'm talking in the biblical sense.” Dean's eyes went wide as a red blush appeared and Bobby laughed hard. “I may have been born at night, boy, but it wasn't last night. It may seem sneaky to you but every time one of you leaves the room the other follows _very_ shortly after.” Bobby laughed. “Just do me that favor,” Dean thought he would die from embarrassment.

“I don't understand,” of course Cas could make it worse. “In what way is the biblical sense? Are we to read passages of the bible to one another?”

“No Cas he means something else,” Dean sputtered and Cas still looked adorably confused as Bobby just laughed. “He means sex,” Dean whispered hurriedly and Cas's eyes widened. They had spent every night with a kiss at Dean's door and Cas went to the couch. He watched television, finished every book in Bobby's library (even correcting a few mistakes it was adorable how humans got things wrong). He was content to sit and wait. They had moved no further than kissing and Dean was finally starting to feel comfortable and safe in whatever this was.

“Dean we do not have to do anything in the senses, biblical or otherwise.” Dean just sputtered and turned redder.

“Let's just talk about it in the car, ok?” Cas nodded eagerly which only made Dean set his jaw and leave looking straight ahead without a word, earning even louder laughs from Bobby.

***

“Would you like to talk about fornication, Dean?” And that caused Dean to nearly drive off the road. Cas refused to offer to fly them when they could take the car, he just loved watching Dean come alive behind the wheel.

“Fuck! Cas you can't just say stuff like that!”

“I apologize,” Dean looked over dryly.

“Don't give me that fake bullshit, I know you pretend not to get stuff when you _know_ it gets a rise out of people.” Cas quirked a small smile. “You are such a little shit.” Dean laughed and went back to driving.

“But Dean I do wish to know.” The hunter was starting to read Cas's tells and this was pure honesty. “I wish to understand your ideas regarding...” He cleared his throat, “The biblical sense.”

“Cas,” Dean started to growl.

“I will start, I would like to have sex with you,” he said faster than Usain Bolt in a dash, “But I can understand waiting, I wish to wait until we are both ready.” He waited patiently for Dean to speak.

“I feel the same,” Dean threw his arm back on the bench seat and flicked at Cas's shoulder. “I don't want you to think this is a one night stand and that I'll forget you tomorrow. I feel like this is...starting to be more...serious than anyone in the past. And that's totally new for me, I'm lost here and I'm kind of scared.” He worried his lip and glanced at Cas, “But...uh, I wouldn't mind more...”

“More?” Dean looked at his open arm and back at Cas with a slightly challenging look. Cas grinned as far as his facial muscles would allow and slid into the invitation like a good bath.

“Is this more?” Dean smiled and kissed the top of a messy bed of hair.

“Yes, baby,” he breathed hard in the scent of Cas's hair as he watched the road. “I'm not scared of being with you, I'm just afraid that...I've never been in a relationship like this and every step is new and I don't know...I'm just—”

“Change, even if it's good, can be frightening,” Cas wound his fingers in with the hand on his arm. “This is new for me too, my brethren always made fun of me for being odd, but I can't help it. Every time I see something I want to know more. And every step I take is a little more frightening.” He felt Dean nod in his hair.

“Odd?”

Cas shrugged, “I fell in love with humanity and then with you, most of my brethren see humans as stupid apes with no history or knowledge. But you have done so much, there is so much beauty in you that I fell.” Cas paused and then looked up. “And then you were born, and I learned what love truly was.” Dean blushed hard and tried to shrug it off but his mind and soul were ever so slowly starting to believe Cas. Maybe it was because he was beginning to feel those same emotions too.

They rode in comfortable silence the rest of the way. Cas did his weird sleeping thing where he shut his brain down for some R&R and was pretty much asleep for as long as he deemed fit. After the first time of walking in on Cas “sleeping” Dean insisted the guy had to at least close his eyes first. So Dean played rock ballads softly on the radio and couldn't help but smile when the songs seemed to be singing about them.

“Cas,” he shook the man softly, “We're here.” Cas blinked and was instantly awake.

“That was incredibly comfortable, Dean,” he looked at the hunter as if the man knew the world's secretest secret on how to be comfortable.

“What can I say I have good arms,” Dean smiled widely and for some reason he didn't make it into a joke. It was a new thing for him.

“That I knew already,” Cas smiled back and they went to check in.

                                                                                ***

They fought the rugauru with little trouble except that Cas had let his guard down for a moment in awe of watching Dean fight thus the large purple bruise across Dean's back.

"I am sorry," Cas sat next to the hunter on his bed, his face deep in his hands. Since the first night they got to the motel three days ago they decided separate beds were best. So Cas stared at the ceiling and Dean the wall until he fell asleep. They kissed often and much more openly and it was enough.

“Don't worry about it Cas,” Dean rubbed his shoulder. “It doesn't hurt that much.” Cas nodded forlornly but still didn't look up. He jumped a bit when soft lips came to the back of his neck. Dean started kissing all over Cas's warm neck and smirked when the flesh started to flush.

“Dean,” Cas whispered and rolled his head to give more access to that mouth. Dean moved them so he could wrap his arms around Cas and really start working on his neck. “Dean,” Cas whispered again and wow that was nice. Dean was starting to feel comfortable in his skin and what he wanted and the man in his arms was helping him get there. He moved up and caught Cas's parted, panting lips and the kiss wasn't as sweet as before. Before their tongues would swipe across closed lips but they were always interrupted before their tongues actually touched.

Now there was nothing to stop them.

Cas thought he was going to fall apart when Dean's tongue caresses his. He full on moaned and pulled at Dean's shoulders. They kissed longer, their mouths opening wide, but when Cas wrapped his arms tight around Dean's back the man couldn't help the grimace.

“I'm sorry,” Cas ducked his head and Dean had a hard time breathing taking in Cas's red lips. “Shit!” Cas looked up, “I forgot I can heal you!”

“You forgot you had healing powers?” Dean tried to hold in a laugh and the only thing working was how painful his ribs were and not the unholy glare from the angel next to him.

“Shut up, you distracted me,” Dean leaned into Cas's space and whispered dirtily.

“Oh I _distracted_ you? Was that during the fight or after?” Cas pulled back glaring and Dean smirked hard.

“You're an ass.” Dean laughed harder, “Do you want me to heal you or not?”

“Yes please,” Dean was still chuckling when Cas came in close. He jumped a bit when long fingers went up under his shirt but instantly the pain was gone and Cas's hand was still under his shirt. “Hi there,” he flirted and Cas matched the grin.

“Hello Dean.” They kissed and this time no trepidation held their tongues in check and wasted no time getting behind lips and teeth. Neither noticed when they ended up lying on the bed but when they broke for air they were horizontal. They weren’t on top of each other and their bodies were a respectful distance but Cas kept his hand firmly where it was up Dean’s back and Dean played with the thought of untucking the white shirt and getting some skin action himself.

“Dean,” Cas nipped at his lip and kissed a bit lighter. “You should sleep.” The hunter nodded and pulled back to go and brush his teeth. When he came out of the bathroom Cas was on the other bed with a book in his lap. And what was that emotion clanging around in his stomach and heart? Oh yeah it was disappointment with a  dash of abandonment. Dean was never going to admit his abandonment issues, first his father and now Sam, but it was damn near impossible to believe anyone would want to stay. So when this angel two months ago walked into that barn and said he was never going to leave Dean was skeptical. Everyone left.

But then Cas didn’t leave. He was there with coffee every morning, and a kiss every night. Dean would never tell the angel but every night in those first few weeks he snuck to the landing and looked down to see if the couch was inhabited.

It was.

Every time.

So Dean had slowly started to trust. He trusted that Cas would be there. But now that trust was being tested.

Sure Cas was still there. He didn’t leave the motel room, but he did leave Dean’s bed. Granted right now was the first time Dean had had Cas on his bed, but he had…what? Hoped? Yeah, he had hoped after he left the bathroom that Cas would still be there in Dean’s bed. Perhaps under the covers with his arms open and ready to be cuddled.

And Dean Winchester never needed cuddling.

But then that was before Dean Winchester met Castiel.

So he tried to beat down the disappointment and _I told you so_ feeling as he slipped, alone, into his bed. He turned the light off and Cas did the same.

“Good night, Dean,” the deep voice rumbled like distant thunder through the room.

“Night, Cas.” Dean rolled so his back was to the angel and he stared at the wall.

He tried to sleep.

He did.

Nothing was coming. No number of fluffy ass sheep would help. He twisted and turned until finally he had to give in. The thoughts refused to leave him alone and he was ready to punch something out of sheer frustration.

“Cas?” He whispered.

“Yes?” Dean’s eyes had long ago grown accustomed to the darkness and he could see Cas’s prone body turn to him.

“I want more,” he whispered and he could feel Cas’s confusion for a moment. Then the angel was up and climbing into Dean’s arms.

“More?”

“More,” Dean said firmly. “Though you could lose the trench coat and jacket and tie.” The clothing was immediately gone but Cas was still in boots, dress slacks, belt, and white shirt. “Man, do you know what to sleep in?”

“Dean,” and he could feel Cas’s eye roll, “I _don’t_ sleep so therefore I don’t need to know what to sleep in.”

“Well you’re gonna be here with me while I’m sleeping and I don’t want to hold on to a crinkly dress shirt.”

“What do you suggest?” Cas asked dryly.

“Well I dunno, but something like what I’m wearing…” Cas looked down at the soft tee-shirt and boxers. He concentrated and a moment later he was in a matching outfit. “Nice,” Dean ran a hand on Cas’s hip. “Wait that’s my shirt!”

“So I was supposed to manifest my own clothing?” Cas played with the hem of his boxers, “These are yours too.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“Of course they are. Come here,” they had a messy minute fighting for who got to hold who but ended with arms around one another and legs indistinguishable from the other. Cas rested his head in Dean’s neck and Dean used Cas’s cheek as a pillow.

And holy damn it was comfortable. Cas pulled the blankets over them and near instantly Dean was drifting off.

***

After the incredibly successful hunt Cas and Dean fell into a pattern. They hunted, shared a bed, looked for Sam, and crashed at Bobby’s in between. Nothing stopped Cas from sneaking into Dean’s bed. And by sneaking he meant he followed Dean after the man had said his goodnights and was already in Dean’s Black Sabbath shirt and boxers and bed by the time the hunter made it upstairs.

There was still no sign of Sam and as much as Dean tried the young man refused to listen. Cas suggested maybe a lighter approach would work. Maybe just leave Sam for a bit and then come again later. Dean nodded though they both could feel how hard it was for him.

It was after a fear inducing ghost infected Dean that the man knew this angel was never leaving him.

Ok the dog was a little shit and it was fucking _terrifying_. Dean swore over and over the thing was a hellhound in humanish form.

“Shut up Cas,” he growled when the angel tried to point out that was physically impossible. “I know what I saw, and that thing was a fucking hellhound.” He itched at his arm and Cas tried to pull his hand away.

They figured it out but when Dean was alone in that room feeling his heart about ready to explode Lilith came and exposed his deepest fear.

“He is going to leave you,” she sing songed, “Everyone leaves, he’s going to leave you because you’re never going to tell him you love him. That’s just sad Dean,” she skipped and sang around him as Dean curled himself in a ball on the floor of their motel and tried to block out the world.

When the fear was gone he looked up and saw Cas’s book on the night stand. They no longer booked double bed rooms, or if the room had two beds one was never used. Seeing that book there something just clicked. Dean was no longer going to be a coward and hide any more.

“Hey,” Bobby and Cas both grinned when they saw a calm Dean, road rash and fear free.

Without even hesitating he went up, swept Cas in his arms and kissed hard.

“I love you,” he whispered. “I love you Castiel and…well I guess that’s all.” He kissed harder and melted their bodies together. He wrapped his arms around Cas’s neck as he felt strong hands on his back. Neither heard Bobby laugh and drive off after huffing out a goodbye. They just kissed in the abandoned mill not caring where they were or what was around them. They kissed until they had no air in their lungs and then they kissed some more.

“Cas fly us somewhere. Some hotel, room I don’t care, just get us to a bed.” Dean said between frequent kisses and instantly he felt a soft mattress under him and his clothes were gone. “Really? You had to just get me naked now?” Cas smirked above him, equally naked.

“I couldn’t wait.” He leaned down and kissed again and Dean leaned into the touch not realizing how much he had been craving it.

The air was soft around them as Cas lay heavily down on Dean and their fingers traced heavily, going nowhere important. They just kissed and forgot need wrapping up in one another, knowing they’d get off…eventually.

Cas had a wonderful time kissing all over Dean’s face and neck, he found a small patch of skin behind Dean’s ear that made the man grab his hair and moan softly.

“Oh Cas,” Dean was breathy, how could a piece of skin feel so freaking incredible? He trailed his hands down Cas’s back and sides. He felt the curve of Cas’s spine and the even better arc of his ass. The angel broke from the kiss to pant and he shifted again to really bring them closer together. A wet line followed his movement on Dean’s stomach and the hunter grinned wickedly.

He pulled Cas into a rougher kiss and the being moaned loudly into his mouth. Their touches weren’t slow but insistent and hungry. They grabbed and pulled anything to get their skin even closer.

“Have you ever…” Dean broke from the kiss, though he couldn’t hear the answer because he was kissing hard again. Who knew his new favorite color would be the red of Cas’s kiss stained lips?

“I’ve once, with a woman…”

“Ok, and it’s been a while for me with a  man, how do you want this to go down?” Cas looked confused and Dean just _had_ to reward him with a kiss. They were still heavy on one another, Cas laying on top. “Do you want me in you our you in me?” Cas looked even more confused and Dean rolled them so Cas was lying on his back. He sucked on a finger and then brought it down.

Cas actually screamed when the finger was inside him, his legs opened impossibly wider, his entire being begging for more.

“You want me to continue?”

“Oh Dean, yes,” Cas breathed loudly, “But you should feel this,” he looked upset as if he were stealing something precious.

“Don’t worry, baby,” Dean kissed and smirked when he wiggled his finger and Cas fell apart under him. “I’ll ride you so hard we’ll both black out.” Cas looked confused and Dean kissed the question off his lips. “I’ll explain later.” He moved his finger again and Cas forgot what exactly they were talking about.

Dean worked Cas open and with a rush of holy-shit-this-is-happening he was lining himself up.

“You ready?” he panted and Cas just shoved himself back until Dean was balls deep in his ass. “Guess you are.”

“Dean, start moving,” Cas worked at his neck and after a thrust Dean grunted at the hard bite. Cas latched on and sucked and bit and seemed no longer coherent as Dean kept thrusting away. He reached down and fumbled with Cas’s legs wrapping them around his waist. They both moaned at the shift in position and Cas gripped hard at Dean’s body leaving all sorts of marks.

Cas had always wondered why humans spent so much time and effort pursuing intercourse. Even after the reaper he still didn’t understand sex in the slightest. But now he was completely addicted. Dean’s body and sweat enveloped him and he was wordless in how wonderful it all felt. He had never felt this good in his vessel before but now he could tell he was never going to give this up. There was no way Dean could make sex better.

That was until Dean rolled them and pushed Cas to sit up.

“Ride me,” he whispered, licking his lips.

“I don’t…” Dean gently took hold of Cas’s hips and started moving them in a beautiful rhythm.

“Oh fuck,” Cas moaned, he threw his body forward and placed his hands on either side of Dean. He continued moving and the hands at his hips rubbed circles. “Dean,” he moaned and started moving faster an unfamiliar feeling pooling in his stomach.

It got stronger when Dean’s hand left his side and moved to his cock. His breathing became erratic and his pace even more so when the hand twisted at the leaking head and the feeling in his gut became hard to deny.

“I’m…Dean…” his eyes were wide as he looked down and couldn’t break away from the sight of Dean’s hand on him. Dean’s hand stroking him, Dean’s hand giving him ultimate pleasure. The feelings raging in him were impossible to ignore as they took him over and pulled him under like the tide. He watched as he widened and covered Dean’s hand and stomach with white as the boneless _goodness_ washed over him. He fell back giving Dean enough room to thrust forward.

The orgasm was overwhelming in Dean. Never before had he had sex with someone he was so connected to. He pounded away at Cas’s spent body and a crash of love hit him so hard he orgasmed at the thought. Cas grunted when he felt hot seep into him and he came again.

When he could actually breathe Dean pulled out and crawled up so he could rest in Cas’s open arms and both couldn’t help but smile.

“That was incredible,” Dean lay on Cas’s shoulder and he felt the angel nod.

“Much better than I ever thought.”

“‘Better’?” Dean teased, “Next time I’ll have to up my game.” He rolled so he could lay across Cas’s chest and look at his favorite blue eyes. “So when were you going to tell me?”

“Tell you?”

“That you’re from the future?” Cas looked away and he squirmed under Dean’s body.

“I, um, I wanted to but I didn’t…I couldn’t…” he looked at Dean with pleading eyes. “I didn’t want you to ask the one thing I knew you’d ask.”

“Really? What was that?”

“Don’t make me say it.” Cas evaded and looked away.

“What?” Dean pushed. He really wanted to know why Cas felt the need to keep this secret. It didn’t change his feelings for the dude, actually it only made him feel stronger that Cas hadn’t lied. He told the truth and he was clearly, desperately wishing he could lie right now.

“We aren’t.” Cas clipped out.

“What?” The head turned and hard blue eyes glared into him.

“Together.” He said angrily. “We aren’t together, I’ve never held you in my arms. You have no idea I love you because I’m too much of a fucking coward to tell you.” Cas looked away again and this time the room was filled with anger and the smell of tears.

“Cas,” Dean whispered and kissed over the neck before him. “You wouldn’t have had to tell me you loved me to get me to _not_ feel this way for you. I fell in love with you regardless if you said it or not. So if we weren’t together in the future then it wasn’t all your fault. I know me and I know I’m a dumb ass and hold things in for far too long. So it’s not your fault.” Cas turned so he was facing Dean but still couldn’t meet his lover’s eyes. “Are you going back to that future?”

“What? No, I want to stay here with you in this future.”

“Then it doesn’t matter.” He opened his mouth and kissed loudly over Cas’s neck and after a few cartoonish kisses Cas giggled under him and wrapped his arms and legs tighter. “I’m glad you told me the reason, I was worried you hadn’t told me was because I went bald or something.” Cas laughed and shook his head.

“I’m only from six years into your future, I have no idea if you go bald or not.” Dean’s smile faltered and he reached up to run a hand through brown hair.

“And some bad shit goes down?” Cas looked away but then back at Dean.

“Well, yes, you…you went off on your own and didn’t trust Sam or I to help with the problem at hand…” Dean nodded.

“I can see me pulling a dumb ass move like that,” he thought for a bit as Cas carded his hands through Dean’s hair. “I’m not gonna lie and say I won’t pull some shit like that, but with you here I can feel myself thinking that I want to tell you stuff. And I guess I trust you enough to listen and follow your decisions.” Cas smiled. “Though not Sasquatch, no one should ever eat that much lettuce and have their judgement believed hook line and sinker.” Cas laughed and Dean felt good at creating that noise.

“We’ll get him back,” Cas rubbed Dean’s face reading the pain behind it. He allowed himself to drift off after that, and maybe that made him a coward but he really didn’t want to talk about how he was a terrible brother after having the most amazing moment with Cas.

                                                                                       ***

“Ok I’m kicking you out!” Bobby yelled after walking in on Cas and Dean. Granted this time it was better, they weren’t doing anything. Sleeping actually.

But sleeping didn’t hide the deep scratches on Cas’s back or easily distinguishable bruises on Dean’s hips. Or the thirty odd hickies across both Cas and Dean’s skin.

Or that they were both naked, Cas zapping the sheets away when they’d gotten annoying.

“I do not want to ever see you bare ass naked again!” Bobby yelled. “Either you never have sex in my house or I’m angel warding the shit out of the place. Find a new home base!” Bobby yelled and they heard laughter downstairs.

Bobby clomped down the stairs where Jo and Ellen were chortling.

“Shove it,” Bobby grunted and the two were off again. “Remind me again why I let the two of you in here? Or why I let the two yahoos up there in here? When did I become Motel 6?” Bobby hunted for his bottle of scotch. Nothing but alcohol would erase those bite marked ass cheeks from his memory.

“Come on, Scrooge, it can’t be that bad,” Ellen handed him a glass of water.

“Yeah Bobby, you said they’ve always been quiet.” Jo chirped from the sofa. First Bobby glared at her, then Ellen, then the proffered water.

“Don’t be like that, grumpy,” Ellen matched his growl. “While I’m here I’m taking care of your liver.”

“Don’t you own a bar?” Bobby did take a swig of the water.

“Now it can’t be that bad, great sex isn’t quiet,” Jo said and both Ellen and Bobby glared at her.

“Cas…must have put up a sound barrier,” Bobby looked only at his water as the two women were off again.

Cas and Dean giggled hearing the voices underneath them.

“We really should find a place ourselves…” Dean ran an appreciative hand along Cas’s naked hip. “Not that I have any complaints about that sex…that was friggin’ awesome, but it’d be nice to have that kind of sex outside the bedroom.” Cas smiled and kissed Dean loudly. “I’m also glad you kept the marks,” Dean looked proudly down at Cas’s sex marked skin. “You usually heal them away.”

“Mmm,” Cas licked Dean’s stubble. “I like them too, I like when they rub against my clothes.”

“Kinky,” Dean breathed. They kissed sleep and the shock of Bobby walking in on them, _again_ (honestly can’t people just fuck in bed, or the shower, or the sink, or the couch anymore?) lazily until they both felt sated. Then they kissed some more.

“We should go downstairs. And I may have an idea of where we can have our own place.”

“Oh?”

“Have you heard of the Men of Letters?” Dean shook his head. “We should talk to Bobby, but he has to promise to never yell when he walks in on us if he wants to see the Letters library.” Dean laughed and sat up looking for clothes. Cas always used his mojo to be sure Dean stayed naked as often as possible.

“You know he won’t agree to that.” He kissed and then got up stretching. Cas admired the view.

“Fine, but then he has to be ok that I won’t stop plowing you if he walks in.” Dean had to bend over and hold on to the bed he was laughing so hard.

“You get dirty in the morning, I like,” he kissed Cas again.

“I get something else in the morning too,” Cas whispered in Dean’s lips and they both looked down.

“Dude give me back my clothes.” Dean was sitting up after that most excellent of blow jobs. Cas’s was awesome, as always, but Dean’s was better. Cas was still lazy on the bed and rubbed languidly at Dean’s back.

“And if I say no?”

“Then I won’t blow you again.” Dean turned and kissed Cas.

“That’s a lie you’re too addicted to my cock.” Dean shook his head as he laughed but wouldn’t give in. “Fine,” Cas huffed and they were both dressed. “Happy?”

“Never,” Dean kissed and pulled back slowly so Cas would have to sit up in order to continue kissing. “I’m never happy when you’re wearing clothes, but I’ll survive.” He kissed and looked down to the joint in Cas’s legs, “Barely.”

“Alright, Dean!” Jo cheered, she hugged the man tight and flicked at Cas’s collar. “You two had fun,” she smirked and they tried not to look smug. They failed but hey at least they tried.

“So what are you doing here, punk?” Dean threw an arm around Jo and Cas went off to find Ellen.

“We got a lock on Sam.”

“No way? Really?” Dean looked hard at Jo, this was the first time the hunter had come to him with news.

“Yeah, he called me two days ago, said he wanted to talk.”

“Two days? And you waited until now to tell me?!” His yelling brought Cas, Bobby, and Ellen. “You knew this?” He turned and all three didn’t meet his eyes. “You knew Cas?!” that was the final coffin nail.

“I knew, yes, but I thought maybe Jo should meet with Sam first and then let him come to you. You and Sam have a talent for antagonizing the other.” Cas looked up and Dean was glaring daggers.

“Oh we have a talent do we?” His voice was venom and Cas flinched away. “Where is he?” Dean demanded of the room.

“Minneapolis, he caught a case of vamps.”

“Hotel?” Jo told him and Dean was upstairs packing a bag and barking at everyone they were to stay put. The everyone especially included Castiel but that order wasn’t even bothered to be listened to.

“Fuck off Cas I don’t want you with me.”

“Too bad.”

“Get out of my car.”

“No.”

“Castiel…” Dean growled.

“Or what?” Cas matched the ferocity. “Or you’ll kick me out? Beat me? I’m an angel you ass. I can be at Sam’s hotel faster than you can blink. I can remove your hands or cause you to forget how to drive a car. I’m coming and there is nothing you can do about it. Or would you like to end up in China while I go and talk to Sam?” Dean glared out of the front window the rest of the trip.

He refused to look or acknowledge Cas’s presence and it seemed the angel was fine doing the same.

When they finished the five hour drive the hotel was easy to find and Dean had an even easier time bribing the desk clerk into getting in Sam’s room. And hey extra flirting would piss Cas off more so it was a double bonus for him.

“Ok you sit tight here and I’m gonna drive around to find Sam.” None of those words were a question.

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

“I believe you heard me fine,” Cas slid a heavy dresser in front of the door. “We are going to talk or yell and then if you still wish to go driving around rather than wait you can.”

“Oh come on!” Dean threw his hands up when he saw his angel wasn’t going to budge. “Fine, Dr. Phil you start.”

“We both know why you are angry and we both know why I am angry.” Cas crossed his arms, “We have to figure out how to not be angry any more.”

“Really?” Dean’s voice was dripping in sarcasm. “Really Oprah, well I’ll start. I’m pissed that you decided to keep something to yourself that you had no right to!” Of course Dean was going to go in yelling and swinging.

“I have every right to protect Sam!” Cas roared back. “You are my…” he seemed even angrier that he had no word to define what they were, “And Sam is my friend. I have every right to care about him as you do! And I trust Bobby and Ellen and Jo and we all agreed it was for the best if we allowed you to calm down before you went off and found Sam.”

“He’s my brother!”

“And so you are the only one with rights to care for him?!”

“You’re damn right!” Cas fumed. He walked up and looked ready to hit his lover but he stopped himself and smashed his fist into the table, cracking it in half.

“You are not alone Dean!” he roared, he turned back and his face was red. “You do not have to carry this world by yourself! You do not have to care for Sam by yourself. You can rely on others.”

“No, it’s all on me.” Dean didn’t yell but he was loud and firm. “It’s always been on me and Sammy’s always been my responsibility. Not yours, not Bobby’s, but mine. Dad was the one who left me in charge. Dad was the one who gave Sam to me to protect. So don’t you dare tell me it’s not on me to care for that kid.”

“Then why did I come back here? If you can’t understand there are others willing to help you to lay their lives down for you then why the hell did I come back? You thinking you’re only worth protecting Sam is what got you the mark in the first place! You have your head so far up your ass you think you’re the only person in the world.”

“That’s because it was only me!” Dean yelled and then the room was silent. “When we were kids, it was only me. Dad would leave and Sam would look at me and I had to be the parent. I was the _only_ one protecting him from the monsters. I was the one feeding him and watching that he went to school. I was the one he came to for advice and homework questions. _I_ was it. So don’t you dare tell me that that job is over now that I have you or Bobby or Jo or Ellen. I will always be the first one. I will always be there for him.”

“Ok,” Cas was soft and he came up to Dean, his hands up in surrender. “Ok, I know, I know how hard it was for you. But you can lean on me. Let me help,” he was within touching distance of Dean and let the man come to him.

“I don’t know how…”

“You just talk. You just have to say that you don’t know what to do and I’ll always be there to help you.”

“Yeah, but Cas you gotta tell me shit like this. You can’t leave me in the dark and think it’s for my own good. Lock me in a room again and we’ll shout it out but you can’t keep shit from me.” Cas nodded. Dean came up and wrapped his arms around his… well his something and they stood and hugged for a long time.

“Do you want to go out and look for Sam?”

“Nah, he has to come back here eventually,” Dean pulled back and kissed Cas lightly. “Please don’t keep things from me Cas, I can take it from anyone else, but not you.” Cas nodded.

“Alright, I love you.” Dean kissed his hair.

“Love you too,” Cas pushed the dresser away and then switched clothes so he was in Dean’s shirt and boxers. Dean settled in his arms and they both fell into a comfortable sleep.

Sam came home around two in the morning. His gun was cocked at the men in the other bed but when he realized it was his brother he lowered the weapon. Really he knew Dean was coming after he called Jo. But he hadn’t expected another man in Dean’s bed.

He also had expected a bottle of whisky next to the bed and not a bottle of water. He expected his brother’s face to be lined with worry not peacefully breathing in time with the man curled around him. Dean was moving toward a normalcy that Sam had been wishing for for a long time.

So he walked out of the hotel and got in his car and drove away.

***

“Hello?” Dean was groggy when he finally got to his phone.

“Dean?” Bobby’s gruff voice cut through any sleep Dean still had.

“Yeah, Bobby what’ve you got?”

“What the hell did you say to Sam? He’s here, in the panic room detoxing.”

“What?” Dean scratched his bedhead as Cas came up to him.

“Sam, your brother. Showed up here at about eight this morning saying he wanted to get clean. Wouldn’t say a word about you, what did you say to him?”

“Nothing,” Dean turned to Cas, “Did you see Sam last night?”

“No,” Cas frowned.

“Listen Bobby we’ll drive back there but we didn’t talk to him.”

“Didn’t think so, the way you two talk one of you ends up unconscious and trussed up.”

“Bobby what are you trying to say?”

“You know exactly what I’m saying, idjit. Don’t be in a rush to get here, Sam’s not going anywhere anytime soon and the detox is going to hit him hard.”

And as nice as the idea of a whole hotel room and hours ahead of them were Dean just didn’t feel in the mood. He wanted to be where Sam was, just to check up on the kid but he didn’t want to hear the yelling. Or screaming or whatever Sam was about to go through in detox.

So he ended up in Cas’s arms with a marathon of Dr. Sexy and they left the city in the afternoon.

Bobby wasn’t lying when he said the detox was rough. Dean could hear Sam’s screams as soon as they got into the house and the three hunters already there looked tense.

So they all waited.

They waited on the knife edge for something to change with Sam’s yelling as their soundtrack.

When the worst of it had finally passed they were able to let the restraints loose but Sam was too weak to walk or leave the bed. So Jo took it upon herself to take care of the younger Winchester and they fell into a new kind of waiting. But this waiting was a lot better. This waiting wasn’t to see if Sam would survive it was when he would be ready to leave.

“Mmm morning,” Dean grinned lazily as Cas slowly kissed his stubble. They were wrapped up on the couch, giving their bed to Jo. No one had really wondered where Ellen slept.

The kisses were like morning coffee, nice and slow and they served to warm Dean perfectly. Cas kissed more and more and Dean just smiled into the lips until they were really tangled together and their morning wood was becoming _ever_ present.

“Cas zap us to a car, just not here.” Dean whispered and suddenly they were in the backseat of some car on the opposite side of the junkyard. They kissed roughly and battled for dominance in a heady fight. They hadn’t been together in a while and so they just let go and let all their desires out.

“Dude you know how I hate it when you open me up with your mojo.” Dean complained after messy kisses and Cas zapping their clothes away. Dean rolled to all fours and looked grumpily back.

“If I don’t make the first move then you end up with your fingers inside me and I forget.” Cas rumbled back as he came and lined his thighs with Dean’s legs.

“I will only forgive you if you fuck my brains out.” Cas huffed a laugh as he lined up and thrust in.

“That I can do,” he rubbed Dean’s back as the man took his size and adjusted before nodding his ass and encouraging Cas to move.

There was no question what they were doing to an outside eye. The car wobbled and shook as they didn’t even attempt to hold their loud moans back. Cas rocked hard into Dean and found Dean’s bouncing cock between his legs.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck,” Dean groaned as he clenched around Cas. They both came at the same time and worked hard to milk the orgasm out of the other man.

Dean collapsed down as Cas pulled out and they both just let their sweat fuse them together for a while.

“Amazing as always Cas,” Dean bowed to the man as they walked back to the house. It was still early in the morning and it was nice to be hand in hand walking and having a few more moments alone.

***

After Sam had come back weeks ago they were starting to hunt as a trio. The young man was terrified for a while of Castiel, Angel of the Lord and his was his brother’s boyfriend. And Sam remembered that their first encounter he had punched the angel across the jaw. But Cas had waved it off and they fell into an easy group. It seemed the two had a lot in common and while Dean was the lover and boyfriend Sam and Cas had a very close friendship.

Cas soon started feeling the itch that the future was being changed. Other than a few minor things the angel’s plan had been working as planned. But it was becoming clearer and clearer that the Winchesters were not breaking any seals and they weren’t even going to entertain the thought of becoming vessels.

The higher up angels were losing their patience and blaming Cas. It got to the point where Cas had to tell Dean he had to leave.

“It’s only for a short while. I have to reason with them. If I can’t I know of a few followers who may be able to help me.” Dean nodded. He knew all about Cas’s troubles, neither held anything back since Sam and they just wanted to be left alone. “I promise, my love, I will come back to you.” Dean nodded and smiled, he kissed Cas hard and whispered his love. He tried not to feel nervous without Cas by his side, the angel had been there for five months and other than sleeping or the supply run they’d been together.

“Aw,” Sam cooed. “You two are _adorable_.”

“Shut up.”

“You want me to get you some ice cream and you can watch _Sex in the City_?”

“Here’s an idea,” Dean hit his brother hard. “Shut up.”

They went off and hunted a ghost just to get Dean’s mind busy and not taken over by thoughts of Cas bloody and beaten.

They hunted another ghost and Dean convinced himself Cas was fine. He was a freaking angel after all.

By the fourth ghost and second witch Dean was starting to worry. He prayed to Cas near constantly. Before it was to tell him he loved him, how his day went. Now it was pleading for a sign that Cas was ok.

It was when they were gearing up to hunt another witch when the angels appeared.

“Cas!” Dean rushed forward and took his slumped, unconscious boyfriend from between two men. He lay Cas gently down on his bed and took in everything of Cas. His trench coat was bloody and torn and his face was swollen and covered with cuts and bruises. “What the hell happened?” He turned and glared at the two men and small red head behind them. He didn’t focus on them long rather going straight back to Cas and gently tapping his face. “Baby please…come on Cas, baby please wake up.”

“How cute, Cassie being taken care of by an ape.” Dean was no longer listening because Cas’s eyes fluttered open.

“Hey,” he smiled and Cas tried to smile up at him but ended in a grimace. “Sleep baby, I’m here.” Cas nodded and pulled at Dean so he could kiss the man’s hand.

“Love you,” he whispered and Dean nodded.

“Love you,” he affirmed and Cas went softly back to sleep. Sam came over with a damp towel and Dean set to work on the fresh and dried blood all over Cas.

“What happened?” Dean wasn’t going to be paying attention to anything but his boyfriend so that left Sam to take control.

“Hm? Oh Cassie took on big brothers Michael and Zach.” The angel who called Dean an ape said cheerfully. He was wearing tight, dark clothes and a devious smirk. “Balthazar, Cassie’s…well Cassie’s _friend_.” He let the word hang suggestively. Sam looked to the other two.

“Anna,” the girl said softly. Sam looked at the last man and his breath stopped just for a second. The man was nothing different. If he were in a crowd he wouldn’t stand out. But to Sam he was…so much more.

“Gabriel,” the man said quietly. So this was what that light was. Gabe had always teased Cas when the angel tried to describe the light of Dean’s soul, how it tugged at his existence and pulled him towards the man. But here Gabe was, in the world’s cheesiest (and that was saying a lot, Gabe had truly awful taste) motel room looking at his very own beacon. “I’m Gabriel.”

“Like the archangel? The one who told Mary she was…”

“Preggers?” Gabe smiled, “Yeah that was me.”

“What was that like?”

“Well not really any reaction at all, I mean you walk up to anyone and say ‘Hey you’re pregnant!’ they’ll be like ‘oh yeah, right.’ It’d be more impressive if I had told her and the next day she gave birth. I wanted to go back nine months later and ask her if she believed me now but I wasn’t allowed.” Sam laughed and Gabe felt drawn to the sound.

“I’m sure, so what happened?” Sam didn’t really care for the other angels in the room, he really just wanted to talk to this one angel.

“Well Cas took on the higher power and got his ass handed to him.” Gabe looked impressed. “He held out a lot longer than I thought he would. So he left heaven with his tail between his legs and found us. We went in and helped fight. It was hard and bloody but we were successful.”

“And why aren’t you…”

“Bloody and comatose?” Sam nodded. “We’re more powerful than Cassie, and,” Gabe’s confidence and good humor disappeared. “He took the hits,” he said softly. “Bal, Anna, go back to heaven,” Gabe ordered. “I’ll stay here and watch over Cassie.” The other two nodded and they were gone. Sam motioned to the door and Gabe followed.

“So Cas took the harder stuff?” Gabriel nodded.

“He’s my baby brother, I should have been the one who suffered. I should never have run away.” Sam ran a comforting hand on Gabe’s shoulder.

“You can’t blame yourself, speaking as a baby brother we tend to put ourselves in front of our brothers to protect them.” The shorter man huffed a laugh and Sam clapped him on the shoulder. “So, uh, you really going to stay?”

“Well for Cassie,” Gabe started. “But I wouldn’t mind…” he snapped his fingers and they were in a restaurant with crimson velvet and silk everywhere. There were tall candlesticks and a place setting elegantly for two.

“Wow,” Sam’s eyebrows were being eaten by his hairline.

“Cheesy?” Gabe worried his hands. “Sorry I can change it.” He was about to snap his fingers when Sam stopped him.

“Nah, um, I like cheesy, and this way I don’t have to spend the entire meal wondering if this is a date or not.” Gabriel sputtered and Sam decided he liked being the cause of that.

***

“Hey baby,” Dean smiled gently when Cas opened his eyes. There was a spark behind the sapphires so Dean knew Cas was finally awake, not floating between worlds his eyes fluttering open every now and then.

“Dean,” Cas rasped out and the hunter immediately had water. “Thank you,” he held on to a strong arm that was usually wrapped around him in sleep not helping him when he was bloody.

“Are you ok?”

“I’ll live,” Cas winced and Dean put another pillow behind him. In a flash Cas was in his sleeping clothes (well they were Dean’s but the couple now considered it communal property). “You’re right this is more comfortable,” Dean settled back on the bed and Cas nuzzled into his side. “Dean?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“I’m cold.” Dean threw thick blankets over them and Cas murmured his thanks before falling asleep. But this time the sleep was less terrifying. Images of his brothers kicking and beating him were gone. Instead Dean, lending his strength and his smile and his warmth took their place.

***

Heaven, hell and earth were good after that.

Cas was astonished how well his plan had worked. Sam and Dean were happy. Actually that turned out to be a surprise to Castiel how well his older brother and Dean’s younger brother fit together. And after walking in on them several times in the Men of Letters bunker Cas found out just how intimately they fit together as well.

He was in awe the change over Dean. The man hardly drank, his glasses filled with coffee and water over alcohol. He slept peacefully in Cas’s arms and he was more open with his feelings. He wasn’t afraid to admit when he was nervous about a hunt (only to Cas, but then Sam and Gabe hunted on their own these days), he was affectionate, and he loved to tell his angel how much he loved him.

“So do you age?” Dean had Cas in his arms in their bed at the bunker. Dean had been a happy puppy when he felt the memory foam for the first time (“It’ll remember us, Cas!” he had said gleefully).

“No,” it had been two years since Dean was pulled out of hell and they had just come back from Bobby and Ellen’s the two celebrating their one year anniversary with the young hunters. “I don’t age.”

“So what’ll you do when I…” Cas looked at their hands.

“There are a few things…”

“Why do I get the feeling you’re holding out on me?” Dean was dry as he kissed his angel’s shoulder.

“Well there is something, it’s rare and can be, well it is, very, very dangerous.”

“Lay it on me,” Cas looked confused but he was beginning to understand that most of the time Dean wasn’t being literal.

“There is something angels can do with their soul mates. Angels rarely fall in love and it’s even rarer for that love to be a soul mate.”

“Ok…”

“But when they are soul mates they can share the angel’s grace.” He looked at his lover’s face. This was a Dean so different, so changed, from the man he’d left in the bunker two years ago. That man was broken, defeated, and so full of self loathing he no longer cared if he died. This man looking at him now was hopeful, he wanted to put himself in danger so he could be with Cas, he weighed the risks and didn’t barrel in not caring the outcome.

“Ok, well what’d happen if the grace didn’t work?”

“You’d explode.”

“Huh, kinky,” Dean pulled at them so he could have Cas’s face in front of his. “How’d you know if we were soul mates?”

“You would be able to take my grace.”

“And there’s no other way?”

“No, but Dean there’ve never been angel and human soul mates before.” But his voice died when Dean was kissing his neck and shaking his head.

“You’re it for me, Cas, I know that. So if I’m it for you then we might as well try this.”

“It’s too risky…”

“Castiel,” Dean pushed his forehead into the angel’s. “I _want_ you. I want to be with you and I know that however many years I have left isn’t enough. I want _more_. I want as much time as I can and even then it’ll still not be enough.” He felt Cas nod and then shift. The blade the color of moonlight was in Cas’s hand and the tip was at his neck.

“You will know when you’ve taken too much, stop before you feel yourself getting too full.”

“And try not to explode.” Dean grinned nervously. They both sat up and Dean scooted so he was in Cas’s lap.

“Yes, try not to explode.” Cas cut a tiny bite into his skin and Dean saw the white bright grace flowing like blood. He surged forward and Cas tilted his head back as the man sucked.

Dean had a hard time describing what was going on in him. The grace was eating his blood and making his skin tight and for a moment he thought this was it. But he clamped his hands down on Cas’s sides and refused the grace to explode him. He was going to be with Cas and nothing was going to stop that. After that the grace submitted to his will and he felt powerful as he continued to swallow it down.

Cas tried to push the man off his neck, there was no way Dean would be able to take as much as he was. He’d heard angels sharing their grace and saying only a drop would be enough. But Dean was taking more than a drop.

Finally when both felt they were at their breaking point Dean pulled away and his eyes were white pinpricks of power. He didn’t have wings but he wasn’t human any more. Cas’s neck healed instantly and even faster than the cut closing they were rolling and already past foreplay and ready for sex.

It was rough and loud and both were evenly matched and powerful. They took turns fucking the other and when their orgasms came it was no longer two bodies just sharing a moment but two souls and minds. Dean could feel Cas’s soul rubbing against his and Cas heard Dean’s breathy _shit_ in his mind.

“Well I didn’t explode.” Dean lapped at the sweaty skin in Cas’s neck and the angel laughed.

“No, you did not.” He rubbed Dean’s arms and felt his grace flowing just under the skin. “I didn’t expect you to be able to take so much.”

“How much did I take?”

“About half,” Dean’s eyes went huge and gone was the lazy haze they both were in. Dean rolled quickly and was frantic on his angel’s chest.

“I have to give it back, you can’t be walking around with half your power!”

“Dean,” Cas rubbed his hunter’s face and the man soothed. “Yes some of my grace is gone, but it will only grow stronger as our bond lasts. We will both become more powerful than before when it was just me housing my grace.”

And holy hell it was. Dean was a formidable hunter without the extra juice, but now it was like he didn’t even have to try. Simple salt and burns became easier when one would hold the ghost in a ring of unmoveable salt while the other burned the bones.

When Abaddon rose to power the fight was brutal, and hard, and bloody. But with Sam and Gabriel (catching on much quicker than Cas and Dean on their soul mated grace sharing relationship) the four were able to kill her.

And after a hundred years Cas thought maybe this was going to work.

After two hundred years he became confident, this worked.

After three hundred years the Fates came to him.

He was alone, walking back from some graveyard. Dean had sent him a message (their grace bond long ago fusing and allowing them mind to mind contact, it led to interesting sex Dean joked) that the ghost had been taken care of and now he _needed_ Cas to take care of him.

“You’ve been smart, Castiel,” one of them smirked. “The body count has been about even so we haven’t had to pay much attention to you, but now it’s getting too far. People who should have died lived and now their offspring are changing the world.”

“You can’t kill him, not while he has my grace in him.”

“True,” she smiled, “But you better watch your back, fate has a way of sneaking up on you even when you think you’re invincible.” She waved and her sisters followed her.

“Hey,” Dean pulled Cas into him when the angel entered the motel. “What’s up, you look rattled.”

“The fates came to me,” Cas swallowed, if he just protected Dean and their grace they would be fine. This was going to work.

“Ok…”

“There were steps, I don’t know if we would have ended up together those years ago, but I did stop you from doing certain things… The fates are…pissed that I changed that. It may not have been much but they don’t like when people change things.”

“Well I get that, fate and all.” Dean sat on the bed next to his husband. It was the morning after they shared Cas’s grace that Dean insisted on vows and rings. “But hey, we have grace and we will watch out for each other, right?” Cas nodded.

“Right.”

“Now I have a serious need to have a good _long_ fuck.” Dean nosed at Cas. “What do you think? That abandoned castle in Norway? We could stay there for a year just having sex.”

“Could we make it five?” Dean smiled and kiss the inside of Cas’s palm.

“I can’t ever say no to you baby.”

After the fate scare Cas kept a close watch on Dean which the man didn’t seem to mind in the slightest.

So three more centuries passed.

Time no longer meant anything to them other than the change in light on their skin. Dean had to be reminded the days of the week and even the months from time to time and Cas still never let him live it down when one morning they woke up and Dean yelled that there was some kind of witch cursing them. He swore up and down that the day before it was summer and now it was deep winter.

They had long ago stopped hunting, only really taking their blades out for the really important things. They traveled, saw the deepest parts of the ocean and the distant planets in the galaxy. They spent a year on Mars kissing and another sitting on Jupiter’s rings talking.

It was on their 663rd anniversary that it happened.

Days had never really stood out to them except that one day. The day Cas pulled Dean out of hell and kissed him for the first time. They always went back to the barn and the grave yard (sky scrapers covered the ground now but they always knew where it was), they shared a kiss and then moved on.

“Stop fidgeting,” Dean laughed as Cas pulled at his collar.

“Well you spend a year naked under the ocean and tell me that clothes are comfortable.” Cas glared and Dean just laughed.

“ _I_ spent that year with you, dear husband, so don’t whine.” Cas snarked silently but Dean’s back was to him. They were in the basement of a building and looking at a patch of cement.

“I don’t remember hell anymore,” Dean said quietly and Cas came up behind him. “I don’t remember torturing souls or the chains or the smell. I just remember clawing my way out and then finding you.”

“I wanted to fly you away, not leave you under the surface but I had no choice. I had to go, you wouldn’t have trusted me if I was there with you when you woke up.”

“I still didn’t trust you,” Dean laughed. “I stabbed you in the chest.” They both giggled. They kissed softly and then broke away. “I’ll see you at the barn.”

That was their tradition. Cas would fly himself to the area where the barn was and Dean made the pilgrimage on foot (well hover car but it was far slower). They would meet and kiss and then move on with their new year.

So as Cas waited for Dean outside the high rise that was now their barn and the night settled.

He didn’t hear the man behind him.

His senses were wondering where Dean would like to go next on their travels. Maybe they could spend the year in silence again, that had been fun a few decades ago.

He didn’t notice until it was too late.

They were called Gracers. Drugs had evolved with the centuries and one angel had been stupid enough to get caught and their grace stolen. Now it offered the greatest of highs. Dry out an angel and portion out their grace drop by drop and become a billionaire.

And all Cas was left to do was watch the junkie run away with his grace fighting against the glass bottle it was captured in.

He fell to the ground, the world suddenly heavy and _human_.

“Hello Castiel,” one of the fates knelt down. Her face wasn’t full of malice like her sisters but concern and deep apology.

“Please,” Cas begged. But they both knew exactly what was going to happen.

“I can send you back,” she offered. “Back to your own time and you can still be with him.”

“But it won’t be _him_.” She nodded.

“I know. I’m sorry,” Cas looked down at the ground and hot tears hit the pavement.

“Please,” he looked up again, “Please let me say goodbye to him.” She nodded.

“I’ll be here.” She melted into the shadows just as Dean came running up the alleyway.

“Baby, what’s wrong? I felt our connection break…” he fell to his knees and held Cas’s crying face. “Castiel, what is it, tell me.” Cas clung to the black fabric covering Dean’s shoulders and wept.

“My grace, it’s gone.” Everything he’d done, the countless lives he saved, the _one_ thing he asked for, the _one_ payment he required wasn’t taken away by a monster but by a faceless, _human_ junkie.

“Well isn’t that ok? I mean I still have some and you can share from me…” Cas shook his head.

“It was _my_ grace, it came out of me. Now that it’s gone it will slowly die in you.” They held one another and Cas cried harder.

“Well that’s ok, I’ll what? Become human? I can live with that, we can grow old and die together.” Cas shook his head and an icy fist grabbed at Dean’s spine. “The fates are coming for you aren’t they?” he whispered and Cas nodded. “When?”

“Now,” Cas breathed hard, he memorized Dean’s arms, he forced himself to forget his despair and remember everything about Dean. Because where he was going there was none of this. “They’re going to send me back,” and Dean pulled Cas’s face up and kissed him hard.

“You force me to love you, you hear me? You kiss me every single day and tell me that you love me and I will believe you. Don’t let me be an ass hole and push you away. I love you so much.” Dean kissed harder and harder and Cas met his lips. They both cried and held one another and all too soon a hand was on his shoulder.

“Castiel, I’m sorry, but my sisters are coming. They won’t send you back, they’ll kill you.” Cas could feel his entire soul crush and fresh tears welled up inside him.

“I love you,” he held on to Dean as long as he could.

“Cas I lo—”

“Cas?” the angel looked up. His tears were gone but the weight and despair were still there. The man he had loved for six hundred years was right there looking at him. But it wasn’t his Dean, this Dean was hard and the spark Cas had fallen in love with was so faint it was nearly impossible to find. The red mark on his arm flared and Cas remembered just how different this world was.

“Cas so what’s the plan?” Sam looked eager. Sam. Sam who lived with Gabe for as long as he with Dean was now unknowing of his loss as well.

“It’s nothing, it wouldn’t work.” He stood wearily from the table. “Excuse me.”

He would tell Dean he loved him tomorrow.

Maybe.


End file.
